Exactly 3 years and 5 months after the stroke I took my first job after the stroke. Almost exactly 3 years and 7 motnhsafter the strome I lost it. My 3-month contract for a trial period is not going to be renewed. So my first job after a stroke did not turn out to be such a success as I had counted for.
What went wrong?
Was it a false start or had I waited too long?
What was a obstacle – a hand or concentration?
Too many naps or maybe too few?
Was it me who failed?
I would like to have answers for even a few of these questions.
How do I feel?
Well, you may expect that not really good. I just feel that I disappointed myself. And that I did not manage. It may be true and false. I see a lot of fault in my failure on the firm`s side. But let`s be honest: if I had been a worker of the year, I would probably not have lost this job. If I hadn`t made mistakes, they would not ave written I made them. Simple things. I am analyzing everything and my head is unfortunately full of questions as well as reasons, arguments, words both comforting and blaming me, the firm and the whole world.
I have a sense of failure. I would have it after being fired from any job. It`s not something I could ignore by shrugging arms. It just isn`t.
I was obserinv my progress at work. And I am really glad with it.
It`s turned out that in my case job after the stroke is not impossible.
But it`s terribly difficult.
However, I had not been able to do more.
I hope I will not look for next job for another three and half years.