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in my opinion my stroke

If you’ve ever thought how stroke feels like… Happy new year!:)

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in my humble opinion stoke is like the worst hangover you can imagine. Which lasts and lasts and lasts for too long…

your are mumbling instead talking

you can’t keep your balance

light and noise are like millions of needles which stick into your soul

this headacheeeeeeeeee

you are so tired

and so poor

world seems to be unfair and full of evil

you can’t control your body

you can’t swallow or you can’t even look at food

But this hangover doesn’t leave you after a day in bed. You have to work hard to mineralize its effects.

I’m writing abut it for few reasons. First: I want you to feel it a bit more. Secondly: I want to express that I’m happy not to have hangovers anymore;p Third thing would be wishing you

to not have any hangover-like symptoms,

I wish you happy 2017. I hope it will be kind, veryyyyy healthy and happy. I hope that you will have like millions of dollars and all institutions will have stay away from you. I hope that 2017  will give you love, joy and friendship. I hope that government will not piss you off, bed will be always warm, and headaches will keep away.

Dear 2016, fuck off. You weren’t too kind for me, for the world also, to tell the truth. Few nice surprises will not recompense me all the diseases and hours of doubts. I’ve just kicked  your butt and i want inform you that my delicious champagne (below) is going to bit you up. Ok, let’s face the truth: 2017 doesn’t have a difficult task to do;)
hello kitty champagne
PS

lately I’ve been whining a bit too much. My first new year’s resolution is to stop it. Good one, isn’t it?

 

my stroke

after and more after

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Facebook memories’ve just showed me picture from 2 years ago.

such collages show me how much i’ve reached.

after and more after stroke

First pic was taken hortly after first stroke, second one – shortly after second one.

I’m not miss universe, but still I don’t have reasons to complain, or do I? 🙂

Uncategorized

Merry Christmas!

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My dear Friends!

merry christmas;)

For Christmas (or winterholidays)

I wish you:

healthy time

happy time

no argues over the table

no argues at all

loved ones around

disliked ones far away

much money

independency

no strokes

no epilepsy

no headaches

no food poisoning

no stomach ache

no lupus

no throat ache

no aches at all

peaceful time

party time if you want

good weather

snow

or, if prefered no snow

lot of rest

high cognitive skills

no loudness around

nails taken care of by them selves

time for yourself

support and understanding from others

all luck possible

15682052_10154250544033366_1335218391_o

and everything what’s the best. I really do. With all my heart. Thank you for being with me.

 

epilepsy my stroke

Suddenly I’m epileptic. Epilepsy after brain stroke

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img_20161210_135549Well, my trip to Warsaw didn’t go quite as I planned. I went to my beloved doc and I managed to see my beloved friends. I had some troubles buying my falafel. I was too distractd to focus on the menue.

My hemi-paresis and confusion was bigger than usually.

And from one moment I don’t remembr anything. Friends said that I was speaking clearly but without sense. And one moment I lifted my hand up and I was staring at it. Like a Statue of Liberty?

Then i started to turn my body left. And I clamped my jaws. And I fell. Or I was blown down… And I started to shake.

From what I don’t remember my friends reaction was full of panic. Crying and running around. Someone put me in the recovery position. My awaress came back in hospital. Someone told me that they suspect another stroke. I remember crying so much. Word ‚epilepsy’ was used later. When I saw my friends I became calm. I even joked. 😉

My doctors were supercool. Most of nurses and ward nurses also. During next days my epilepsy was confirmed. Now I’m a strokie with pilepsy blem.

We don’t now how it will develop. Maybe drugs will work perfctly and this attack was my last epileptic performance. But it doesn’t have to be one time show. In hospital I met a girl with post-stroke epilepsy who still can’t win her battle. I feel so sorry for her.

In this moment I’d love to deny  rumours that I was running out the topics to write on my blog(s) and that’s why I developed epilepsy. It wasn’t also for fading interest in my person. I don’t invite anyone for medical marihuana just yet.

my stroke rehabilitation stroke survivors

Gallery of faces: Day by day…

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coffeeat the last stroke unit I met amazing guy.

Mr. Marek was one of these who  didn’t  keep their balance after a brain stroke, not speaking about   walking. We were seeing each other at mr. Krzytof’s physiotherapy daily. I was a witness of his successes which – i must admit – were spectacular.

We spoke a bit  during our rehabilitation. When I was telling him  that it’s worth to read aloud for yourself to practice speaking, he was saying that he is speaking to him self a lot. He had many plans before the stroke, including redecorating the kitchen. He had to discuss these things as he didn’t know whether   he has to do adjustments for disabled.

When, after stroke ward, but on a rehabilirtation unit he stopped talking to himself. He had many men around to practice speaking. Logical.

But I saw him ferom his first days in a hospital and I was like a fan of him. I watched closely and I saw man who is not complaining and day by day is getting better. I told him that. He was giving me the best smile ever.

And he left hospital just few days before me. I didn’t ask him about it, but somehow I think that adjustments for disabled will not be needed.

PS

This text doesnt show what a lovely person he was:)

 

spasticity Uncategorized

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Spasticity, But Were Afraid to Ask;)

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13367595634_3045c59fec_kAs you may know I’m taking part in a spasticity project. It is going on!

We would like to invite you ask about everything you want to know about spasticity. Or such questions you know answers to, but you think it’s important to appear on website:) The website is designed to be place of knowledge about spasticity.

All the questions you can send to our very friendly Nicole: N.Robinson-Edwards(at)stroke.org.uk 🙂 or to me, if you wish.

As far as I know all questions will be answered  by experts and stroke survivors.

I’m going to send my own questions for sure. Especially about pain managing, cause my feet hurts all the time…

And because I wrote this text on Friday: listen to my Friday song. For few years I wanted to sing it withe boys in the radio… 😉

my stroke spasticity

hydromassage (hydrotherapy) of my legs

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2252167949_761a6633ef_oSo far the only thing that helped me with pain of my foot was hydromassage.

I took ot once and im going back tomorrow to make my hand more useful and my foot bearable.

I recommend it. Believe me:)

How does it look like? You put your foot into the special bath, which is like little jacuzzi for legs. and it works and massages you with water.

Before I experienced full body hydromassage, but it wasn’t that effective. I think that masssages of feet and palms separately will be better in my case.

I think i’m going to ask Santa for a boring gift, such little bath for my foot. If it stops my the pain i will so glad that I will forget about boring part of a gift:)5006991825_a69f4f170b_o

my stroke spasticity Uncategorized

I watch spasticity being born

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physioand it’s so weird.

My leg hurts me just a little bit. For the most of time. It’s like bit sore/stiff and doesn’t let me to forget  about leg existance.

My toes (of left leg) are being pretty independent. They go up, as if they had independent life here, completely independent from my brain. And I know for sure that the brain causes this shit. It makes my lower limb be stiff. Be spastic.

Hey, braain! You are hurting me!. Let’s stop this nonsense, leave my feet alone please.

I’m afraid that it’s going to grow.

I’m looking for exercises , maybe stretches. So far I try to remember to have my foot straight on the floor. That the place of toes is on the ground. And not cramped, if you now what I mean… It’s problematic.

Mrs. Magda says i should pray that it doesn’t get worse. But I’m not much of believer and no prayers here. I look for possible solutionss. And become obsessed with left foot.

in my opinion Uncategorized

If something is clear for a person with aphasia, it’s clear for everyone

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source: flickr.comDuring the discussion about aphasia someone said that if something is clear for a person with aphasia, it’s gonna be clear for everyone.

I understand it. We were talking about website for strokies.  But many strokies have aphasia (some data I’ve read says that 1/3). And to tell the truth that site wouldn’t helpful to a person suffering from aphasia at all. How it could be if it was full of text and irrelevant pictures?

But it’s Internet. Despite the fact that in some countries (Norway for example, as a Norwegian girl told us) it’s obligatory to adjust websites to the needs of disabled, I doubt that someone was thinking about aphasiac people (such expression exists?) talking about these adjustments.

There are different types of aphasia, so let’s assume that our heroine is not able to read anything and speak. She goes to the Office in which she gets a discount card for trains. She knows what she has to do and more or less when she needs to go, but she’s never been there.

The place can be found on a John Paul II street in Szczecin (my home city). Information board (written of course) is put there between millions of other boards (I didn’t count it as I can’t count till million;p) It’s extremely easy to miss for person who reads and for our heroine impossible. Any remedies possible? I’m not sure… Companies use their logos. Polish  public offices have always same signboard – white letters on red background. There is not much difference between „The National Office of Controlling very dangerous things” and „13th high school”.

People dealing with aphasia have to deal with it. But it’s And I have a sad impression that he big markets are more aphasia-friendly than public offices, at least shops use logos and are pretty consistent about it. I don’t know. Maybe a wish of improving the access for another group is impossible fantasy, but till not a long ago ramps for wheelchairs in many places were also a dream. even a simple system of easy recognizable signs would be helpful (also for foreigners!)

wouldn’t it?

yes. I know that this is not aphasia friendly website. And I can’t do anything about it because I’m not a programmer. If I was a great painter I could paint some things… Using symbols is not that bad idea;)

*[click!]

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The importance of saying NO. Assertivness after brain stroke

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assertive I’ve always had problem with saying ‚no’. The bigger request you have the biggest possibility I will do what you want me to do. If you want me only to move ass to give you something I will have problems. I’m the altruist type I guess. That’s why one of my flat mates used to call me the good lamer (if she knew about last years’s adventures, she would call me the good hiperlamer;)

Now. That was not that good introduction to the topic I’m going to write about, because I’m not going to write about disadvantages of being good-hearted, but about the importance of ability to decline things that come.

Imagine that your family goes for one day trip. You plan to take a car, go for 200 kilometers to the sea. You know that road will be very though, there will be much sun and nowhere to hide, kids will be tired and bored, so there will be no rest for you. And you will come back very late.

Or that you get an invitation for a Christmas party from work

Or your brother asks you for  a help in translations.

Or your dadagain and again asks if you could go together for one concert.

Or someone makes you drink vodka (and you don’t want to drink)

Or, or, or….

I’m not saying that you have to say NO to everything. I just say that you can do it and sometimes it’s better to say NO/Not now/Maybe another time. After stroke you have even more right to think about yourself than about others.  
 
Me myself I go to parties like once a year. And I have to be assertive when the time of going out comes. There is no way I could stay long hours, till morning or till the end. The noise (it doesn’t have to be techno party, even few persons in the same room are difficult to handle sometimes), chaos… I cant survive for a long time:)  but often I have to put my foot down and despite (sometimes very cute) requests like ‚stay just bit more pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’. I have to go out when before I cross the line after which I regret going to a party/meting.

saying ‚no’ is sometimes easier than calming down the voice in your head filled with remorse. Today for example i said no to my mom when she asked me to go with her and work together and do some shopping. My parents have tiny business they sell dog’s and cat’s food and they drive a lot by a car. I said no, because in a car I feel lousy all the time and I have many things to d. After such trip I would have to sleep for few hours and I wouldn’t finish up them and for sure I wouldn’t be able to exercise. and I wouldn’t enjoy going to theater with mom. But still I feel remorse because mom works and I’m only writing, you know.

Challenges of communication, noise, stress, limited possibilities, slowdown… You have to consider everything before you agree to something. I find it very difficult. Lately I’ve had some bad experiences with things of ‚took’ kind. The walk was too long, the deadline too close, too many things to do over a day… Everything i say i don’t say to convince you that you should become a self-obsessed selfish idiot, but to show that we should consider many things things. It’s always healthier to be able to say ‚no’;) believe me.