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my stroke

From the fidget’s diary… how is it like to lie in bed day. and another one. and one after. and…

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lyingLately, I’ve read the article for carers advising them how to lay their loved ones/their patients in bed after brain stroke. I bet it’s very important and extremely useful article, but to tell the truth, I haven’t seen this advice implemented in hospitals. I have an impression that convenience of overworked carers is usually more important than putting the elbow in the right angle.

But! What do I know? Actually, my own stroke spared me and even the Times of severe, movement disability gave me some freedom. Don’t mistake it as an ability to walk, dance and run marathons, it wasn’t like that, but come on, conscious and tied to your bed is bad.

I will not tell you how sick person should lie in the hospital bed,  just can tell you how it feels like. Continue reading

my stroke

The cause of my strokes is found! Carotid artery dissection. So happy!

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Another 4 days in hospital and… The cause of my stroke is found. Carotid artery dissection. Hooray!

As you may know, I’ve had millions of checkups of millions of things, I’ve been visiting doctors patiently for the past two years and increased my actions in this field after second stroke. And finally! FINALLY! Some doctors decided to send me to angiography.

And angiography showed a problem. It was conducted by brilliant specialist in the best Polish hospital (I have to thank my friends and my luck here)… But I didn’t expect much. Really I didn’t. I had just slight evidence that this procedure is needed.

My first angio CT scan didn’t small aneurysm or something like that. Something to be controlled, not to be removed.

Now we know that the problem has been bigger. Continue reading

my stroke

after and more after

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Facebook memories’ve just showed me picture from 2 years ago.

such collages show me how much i’ve reached.

after and more after stroke

First pic was taken hortly after first stroke, second one – shortly after second one.

I’m not miss universe, but still I don’t have reasons to complain, or do I? 🙂

epilepsy my stroke

Suddenly I’m epileptic. Epilepsy after brain stroke

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img_20161210_135549Well, my trip to Warsaw didn’t go quite as I planned. I went to my beloved doc and I managed to see my beloved friends. I had some troubles buying my falafel. I was too distractd to focus on the menue.

My hemi-paresis and confusion was bigger than usually.

And from one moment I don’t remembr anything. Friends said that I was speaking clearly but without sense. And one moment I lifted my hand up and I was staring at it. Like a Statue of Liberty?

Then i started to turn my body left. And I clamped my jaws. And I fell. Or I was blown down… And I started to shake.

From what I don’t remember my friends reaction was full of panic. Crying and running around. Someone put me in the recovery position. My awaress came back in hospital. Someone told me that they suspect another stroke. I remember crying so much. Word ‚epilepsy’ was used later. When I saw my friends I became calm. I even joked. 😉

My doctors were supercool. Most of nurses and ward nurses also. During next days my epilepsy was confirmed. Now I’m a strokie with pilepsy blem.

We don’t now how it will develop. Maybe drugs will work perfctly and this attack was my last epileptic performance. But it doesn’t have to be one time show. In hospital I met a girl with post-stroke epilepsy who still can’t win her battle. I feel so sorry for her.

In this moment I’d love to deny  rumours that I was running out the topics to write on my blog(s) and that’s why I developed epilepsy. It wasn’t also for fading interest in my person. I don’t invite anyone for medical marihuana just yet.

my stroke Uncategorized

Stroke? That young? :o

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young survivor– you had a stroke? So young?!?

– no, I was older – I would to reply that way for every single comment of this kind.

I find this question stupid. I really don’t know how to respond. I found some ways to handle it.

To say „yes” and add one of my hospital stories, is one of them. It shows others that I really been trough a lot but I’m handling. Usually I also add the most likely cause of my stroke, not to give others reason to whisper behind my back about a fat girl who smoked too much…

Not that I care too much, but a bit I do. You should know that brain stroke is rather an illness of eldery (age is main risk factor, sorry), but it can hit anyone, anytime. In one of the British sites on strokes I read that one in four people suffering is in working age or younger, even small children. Hey, 1 in 4, 25% of us, that’s a huge amount!

And still more and more young people suffer from it. Doctors suspect that we should blame our lifestyle. On the other hand half of a year ago I read an interview with neurologist who said that average age of having a stroke is growing, but media is collecting our attention for young people. I’m not sure which info is true, in the end these don’t have to exclude each other;)

Yes, I’m the unlucky one to be young survivor, I was 25 when it happened. I know that it will make my life difficult for years. But I feel special, in a way;)  Personally I know only two survivors under 30, and over 60 – tens…. In this unlucky thing there is some luck: my brain plasticity is still huge, so my „brainholes” can be replaed veeeeery soon. I just have to work on it as hard as possible. And I do:)

my stroke Uncategorized

Does (ischemic) stroke hurt?

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brain in the box

brain in the boxFor a long while I had this question stuck in my head: does stroke hurts?

Up to few months after the stroke I thought it doesn’t. To be precise: I remembered that in hospital I was in a big pain. Everything hurt. Badly. But not head! I had a toothache. My head was in pain in the two places I hit it while standing up attempts. My ass hurt. My arms and legs hurt from all the drips.

But then I spoke to my dad and he told me that I felt terrible pain. I kept asking for pain-killers, I was moaning and I was holding my hand on a head. Not necessarily in a place where I  had hurt myself. And that was last time in my life when my boyfriend seemed to care about me. My mom says that he was sitting next to me and holding hand on my head. And with it I seemed to be more peaceful.

That was all about my swollen brain. It was so swollen that it nearly didn’t fit into my skull.

Somewhere I red that stroke itself doesn’t hurt. But the pain can be one of the symptoms. How crazy is that? Maybe depending on the kind, whether it is ischemic or hemorrhagic. Sudden pain can be one of the symptoms!

my stroke Uncategorized

Who is the strongest? My mom!

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psyMy brain stroke happened between 8 and 9 P.M, away from my hometown and my family which had luck of hosting my brother for Christmas. On the first night I remember calling my parents. Yes, not my mom, but parents. As a well-behaved girl I told the doctor that he had been lying to me by telling me that my parent’s were going to be there soon. Due to my knowledge my parent’s were like 500 km away. Good that he could have difficulties understanding my „speech”.

Doc was right though. Ania, my rescuer and best friend at the same time, immediately called my mother. And my mother, woken up, found my and my brother’s medical records, went to the pub where my dad was having just next beer with my brother, and the drove to me this 500 km all night. From time to time speaking to Ania and to doctor. She had to be the one in control of everything. She had to stay strong for me and for whole family. After my family reached hospital, she was in control. And she gave Ania a lift home, where she washed my blood from walls.

I know that in this first period she cried only once. When she opened my computer and saw my cheerful picture from last holidays, taken just a month back.

i have no idea from which place my mom took all the strengh she had then. From that time I know that my mom is a tough lady. Normally she is not like this, she has many doubts, is a bit lazy, like all of us… But you know in the time of crisis she was a superhero. She still is one. I love her for that and everything else (except for telling me all the time „Kasia, brush your hair!”)