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in my opinion Uncategorized

I, Daniel Blake – human vs. bureaucracy

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When I saw first minutes of the movie I smiled saying ‚oh wow, film about ZUS*’, but I didn’t really believe that the ZUS part will be that big.

*ZUS – Zakład Ubezpieczeń Społecznych, eng. Social Insurance Institution

I, Daniel BlakeSoon I found out that I was right and wrong at the same time. This movie is something more than a story of a guy  who doesn’t want to be broken by institution. It’s also about the guy who is just good person with warm, honest heart. And about a woman, who has bad luck and many troubles and tries to handle the best way she can. And about the fact that good people are going to spread the good no matter what.

Of course it’s gonna sound like a biggest cliché but I have to say that, the film consists of many Kafkaesque elements. Institutions are often Kafkaesque. Think about that.

Daniel  ismore or less 5o year old guy after severe heart attack. His doctor strongly forbids him to work, but the fact that he can walk 50 meters and take something out from the pocket disqualify him in the eyes of insurance company. He lacks sufficient points from silly questions which disqualifies him in the eyes of The Institution. As there are strict procedures, he can’t appeal as long as he doesn’t receive a phone call confirming the letter he got. Going to The Institution himself  makes him even more frustrated.

Daniel tries to make his way in the reality of absurd in which he is forced to seek for a job he can’t really do, just to have any kind of allowance. He is forced to use computer which he can’t use, he is struggling with office workers who have to follow strict rules that don’t match reality. Our protagonist has to be fighter, but he doesn’t want to be one. He just wants to be treated fair and with respect as he is honest for others.

It’s just one of the aspects of the movie, I’m not even sure that it’s the most important, but in his story I see my story (these months without any income!)  and people I know from internet. It’s hard to express. The movie triggered the discussion in the UK, many people say that they know this theme from their experience, others can see the cruelty of bureaucracy for the first time. In my opinion the picture in the movie is milder than in reality. It doesn’t depicts well the constant fear which accompanies people who struggle for living while being sick.

Fear is our companion. Fear of second (third in my case) stroke, another heart attack, financial security, fear of evil commission… I couldn’t sleep at nights when I was waiting for my commission. I knew that I’m not able to work. What should say my friend with multiple sclerosis and after stroke which found out that commission thinks that she is able to work in an office? 😮 I believe her that she can’t. and i really think that her commission was heartless. She is like Daniel Blake (and me) – doesn’t want benefits for life. She wants to go back to job, but it’s impossible now. And there is a fear.

what should say my another friend who after another stroke is more and more disoriented and can do simply less things? She can’t sleep at nights either. Every commission in Institutions which should be here to help is so stressful for her, because she was mistreated, misdiagnosed many times, she was also badly treated by members of commissions. She can fight but I see her loosing faith. Sadly you can’t buy faith. In every second message from her I see these words. „I’m afraid”.

This reality is so difficult for most of people in need, but especially for these with cognitive problems. I guess I should feel lucky as I was in hospital after second stroke at a date of my complementary commission. First one couldn’t decide. Able to work or not able? Well, my second stroke helped them judge.

In theory we shouldn’t feel as suppliants in front of the offices. It’s our money which is given back to us. Still one of the phrases that i find on my polish blog, people can find me in Google by this sentence…

boję się lekarza ZUS = I’m afraid of the doctor from ZUS

how horrible is that?

Daniel Blake is true not only for Great Britain. Details may vary, but will be true for all countries in which a person is a number in the system.

It’s also s true emotionally.

It took away something like 3 liters of my tears.

I recommend it to all of people who

a) like good cinema

b) want to find out the ugly truth

c) want to understand less fortunate ones

‚d) don’t want to feel alone with their problems.

PS

there is also moving, not less important!, Katie’s story. It’s also important. the friendship is important, everything about this movie is important.

in my opinion stroke survivors Uncategorized

Thoughts on „My beautiful broken brain” (2016) by Sophie Robinson and Lotje Sodderland

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After seeimg this trailer I was delighted.

But when I saw that it’s available I was scared to watch it. I expected it could be a hard experience for me, stroke survivor myself, who finds it hard to discover beauty in her brand new brain.

Curiosity won. I watched it. With a cafe break in the middle because it was too emotional for me. Not because of the story, I knew what to expect after a stroke. Because of detailed insight of someone else’s stroke and all the emotions behind it. If you know, what I mean.

First time in my life I saw material that gave so close insight to the world of a stroke survivor. And it doesn’t matter that details of my experience were much different from Lotje’s. Principles stayed just the same.

If I’m faced to the question, „who am I?”, I’m someone who has huge amount of friends, very hard-working, travels all over the world, loves to read. What if all that evidence is removed? What does that make me?

says Lotje, 34-years old stroke survivor. It might seem even too philosophical, but actually most of stroke survivors have to deal with this question. And find their way of answering it. Movie is full of such questions and shows a way of finding answers. Even if it’s not always explicit.

For me one of the most important aspects of movie was filmmaking itself. I have a deep feeling that recording everything was not only a way to remember things for Lotje. It was helping her to understand what’s going on and put this brand new experience into an understandable structure. To tell the truth, my blog (first, Polish version) did the same thing for me. I was starting it with different goals, the more conscious way of experiencing myself came as a bonus. Which now is one of the most important things in my life.

All of it – story, the heroin, visuals, montage, edition looks brilliant and makes a great documentary. Really good one, modern and touching. I could easily imagine it nominated to Oscar prize, not only because it is „my” theme.

stroke

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It’s as beautiful as Lotje’s brain. Thanks for that.

P.S.

The movie is available on Netflix!:)))