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Happy Easter!

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Easter is coming. I want to wish you everything which is good, but that later. If i tell you now, you will not read the important part (( ;

Lately I’ve been spending hours a day talking to one guy;)  Sometimes it even sounds feels like a confession – well, since i don’t go to the church, maybe it’s needed. I talk about problems that I’ve been discussing here for past two years too.

Of course I’m being cautious, why deter someone right away, but still. Strokes, spasticity, hormones, epilepsy, Rheumatology issues, many things in general. Shortages in abilities too.

And after confessing all of it i hear what? ‚It’s ok, you are more than that’.

At first I was left in deep shock. Because 99 percent of reactions are entirely different.

It’s so rare to hear something like that from person who isn’t that involved into your problems for, at least months.

Typical reactions are rather like this:

uno: uncomfortable curiosity. Tell me more, how did you earn that, why don’t you get a job?  

Two: astonishment. So young? Whaaaat? Does it even happen?  

Three: being snooty. Come on, you are healthy already. You are all right. I told you before that you should lead healthier lifestyle.  

There are some more, but come on. These reactions make it difficult to talk about illnesses in general, and make it hard to meet new people.

But sometimes unexpected happens. You are more than this.  

I know i was writing about all these things on my polish blog in the context of working of our wellbeing. But now I see, that there are people who can see us not by separate components, but the sum of them. thats why I’m in the perfect mood, and I’m having great Easter. And my mood affects my family in a really good way.

Now my wishes:

I wish you the happiest Easter time. i wish you that all the cakes would end up on taste buds, not in adipose tissue. I wish you dry Wet Monday (i hate changing clothes several times a day) and good people around, who see the sum, not components. 

my stroke

How to survive Easter (Christmas or any big celebration) after brain stroke?

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easter, Well, it’s not easy. Especially „firsts” after stroke are difficult. Now I’m in pretty good shape, but i remember last year’s Easter. Wow, that was tough. Then and during my first Christmas I collected a bunch of advices for survivors (also based on this brilliant article). My friends added theirs and we did a pretty short and – I think – useful guide.

 

  1. Be sure that your host is aware that you can get tired easily and go rest (go home) early. If it’s you and your closest family, they will understand everything. If you are visiting distant relatives it will save you from the awkward moment of stopping you from going away and this sad sentence „please, stay with us for a bit longer”.
  2. Make sure that every place you go has a quiet (or at least more peaceful part) to take rest when you feel tired or overwhelmed. Luckily I spent my celebrations at home with parents and grandparents. When I go to shopping centre with them, I know where I can take rest (for example which coffe place is more quiet
  3. If possible avoid shopping centres! These are everything that survivor hates. Noise, bright lights, crowds, rush… Especially before big celebratiobs these places are too hectic. Maybe shopping can be done earlier, or online:)
  4. Think what you can do yourself and what you definitely can’t. Let’s be honest, cleaning windows is not a perfect thing for most survivors, but maybe making eggs is just right. Don’t do too much. And if you can’t participate in preparations  don’t feel guilty. You didn’t choose being unable to do usual things.
  5. If you have to do shopping yourself, identify threats and prevent damage. Sunglases and ear plugs can be life-saving things when  you are more sensitive for noise and light.
  6. christmas-1197878Don’t go to places by yourself. Family member or a friend can be your support when you need assistance. And survivors need it quite frequently. Remember it.
  7. It’s your right to say „no” or „no, thank you”. You don’t have to go everywhere and make everybody happy. YOu don’t have to attend every meeting that you are invited. During preparations I tell my mom, that I don’t have power anymore.
  8. Make lists. „To do list” and „to buy list”  are useful not only in life of a stroke survivor. But as a strokie I appreciate them more.
  9. Ask for help:) whenever you need it .
  10. Don’t forget about your excersises. I’m sure that on easter day it’s not possible to go with your routine, but „minimum” can be done and try to do it. You will not regret.
  11. Don’t let traditon win with your comfort. Mass at midnight on Christmas is important and a party on New Year’s Eve also. But believe me, at the moment your health is the most important thing in your life.
  12. Enjoy. Celebrations are for people to enjoy the families and time spent together.

For me first Christmas, first Easter, first (and second) birthday, first New Year’s Eve after leaving hospitals were very frustrating. Everything was different, even if familiar, still different. I had to give up my traditions and felt really tired. But I tried not to be beaten by the stroke and I succeeded. The thing is to enjoy. My cuckooflower is very nice this year and it makes me smile.