I was thinking about it a lot. I knew that for World Stroke Day (29.10). Maybe even video… But I’m so tired that I haven’t though about anything sensible.
Among others, creativity is not my strong side lately. So I decided do something else. To say proudly that I’m a journalist again and to tell you about some things around it event.
I’m writing about it because of few things.
Of course I’m very proud but it’s not only about it. I wanted to say that wasn’t easy. Even process of writing itself was very tough and I even stopped rehabilitation (seriously!), I have constant headache and I’m stressed out of millions of reasons. Maybe my work is not unassisted enough, as my friend (the best editor ever) edited my text (she says that not much, but still..). Maybe the text is not good enough. Maybe I will not send next text on time. Maybe they will thank me for my help and I will lose internship. Maybe, maybe, maybe…
It’s just internship, they are not too demanding. But still I’m full of fear and doubts. But let’s go further.
I sent CV to the Foundation just before second stroke. When they contacted me lately I had millions of doubts. But I wrote the text, noone read it, I was accepted without any help. it wasn’t easy for me, but I did it! But you know I’ve been working for it since 9th of May 2015, when I published my first note on m Polish stroke blog, www.lewaczka.pl.
I write daily. I write here, on my Polish site, I write private things just to exercise. I’ve never been so hard-working in my job I have to admit:) But it’s like 1,5 year or daily rehabilitation. It didn’t come over a day. And I wouldn’t be so determined if I didn’t know about my readers. When I get messages like this I’m over the moon.
Because I see it’s sensible. And after messages like his
it’s so moving for me that my eyes sometimes get wet. I can’t help it.
And when you share your stories or ask for help, i feel more than honored. And you know what – without your support, without support of my family and friends, this article wouldn’t have happened.
But ok – let’s add something bitter to this sweetness;) I’m fully aware that many people after strokes will not regain full functionality. I’m somehow convinced that even me myself will not recover fully. I might look well, but this ‚might’ thing is nothing in comparison the ‚healthy’ i remember.
Some of us may struggle or regaining something really basic, I don’t know, like speaking or well balance while getting up. And I’m feeling guilty sometimes for talking so much about working out and faith while I stood up and moved my arms so quickly. But I see that good expectations management can bring plenty of good things to our lives. I always joke about my future literary Nobel prize, but I don’t expect it. It’s nice to dream though. It’s important to manage your goals and expectations well and always dream about bit better. The way is long and hard, and made of thousands of small steps. We go further with these baby steps, and feel this is slow. But when you look back on all the steps you’ve taken you see that road was super long. And the end is not even in sight. And when I think what I’ve achieved, it’s like a huge thing. Not only the article. Also being able to sit without any help. Walking by myself.
After second stroke (shame on it!) I feel rather depressed and full of doubts, but it’s temporary thing, not to be expressed loudly, cause I know that I’m not in a position to complain. In general there is some hope for me. And for all of us:)
Yeah. Now I’m sending all of you (all of us?) plenty of warm thoughts for a World Stroke Day. I wish all good, strokeless life, And if stroke is already here, I wish you no repetition:) And with these words I finish this exalted text and I’m going to Spanish conversation.
Un buen dia! have a nice (world stroke) day!