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My huge success. Happy World Stroke Day!

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I was thinking about it a lot. I knew that for World Stroke Day (29.10). Maybe even video… But I’m so tired that I haven’t though about anything sensible.

Among others, creativity is not my strong side lately. So I decided do something else. To say proudly that I’m a journalist again and to tell you about some things around it event.

If you want to see my article, click here. 

I’m writing about it because of few things.

14924850775_a05bfebd73_oOf course I’m very proud but it’s not only about it. I wanted to say that wasn’t easy. Even process of writing itself was very tough and I even stopped rehabilitation (seriously!), I have constant headache and I’m stressed out of millions of reasons. Maybe my work is not unassisted enough, as my friend (the best editor ever) edited my text (she says that not much, but still..). Maybe the text is not good enough. Maybe I will not send next text on time. Maybe they will thank me for my help and I will lose internship. Maybe, maybe, maybe…

It’s just internship, they are not too demanding. But still I’m full of fear and doubts. But let’s go further.

I sent CV to the Foundation just before second stroke. When they contacted me lately I had millions of doubts.  But I wrote the text, noone read it, I was accepted without any help. it wasn’t easy for me, but I did it! But you know I’ve been working for it since 9th of May 2015, when I published my first note on m Polish stroke blog, www.lewaczka.pl.

I write daily. I write here, on my Polish site, I write private things just to exercise. I’ve never been so hard-working in my job I have to admit:) But it’s like 1,5 year or daily rehabilitation. It didn’t come over a day. And I wouldn’t be so determined if I didn’t know about my readers. When I get messages like this I’m over the moon.

meaning: thanks for another motivation for me. I've had my elliptical trainer for 2 years, but now I'm feeling bored with it. But from now on I'm starting training again:)

meaning: thanks for another motivation for me. I’ve had my elliptical trainer for 2 years, but now I’m feeling bored with it. But from now on I’m starting training again:)

Because I see it’s sensible. And after messages like his

i wish you fast

meaning: I wish you quick return to your home

it’s so moving for me that my eyes sometimes get wet. I can’t help it.

And when you share your stories or ask for help, i feel more than honored. And you know what – without your support, without support of my family and friends, this article wouldn’t have happened.

But ok – let’s add something bitter to this sweetness;) I’m fully aware that many people after strokes will not regain full functionality.  I’m somehow convinced that even me myself will not recover fully. I might look well, but this ‚might’ thing is nothing in comparison the ‚healthy’ i remember.

Some of us may struggle or regaining something really basic, I don’t know, like speaking or well balance while getting up. And I’m feeling guilty sometimes for talking so much about working out and faith while I stood up and moved my arms so quickly. But I see that good expectations management can bring plenty of good things to our lives. I always joke about my future literary Nobel prize, but I don’t expect it. It’s nice to dream though. It’s important to manage your goals and expectations well and always dream about bit better. The way is long and hard, and made of thousands of small steps. We go further with these baby steps, and feel this is slow. But when you look back on all the steps you’ve taken you see that road was super long. And the end is not even in sight. And when I think what I’ve achieved, it’s like a huge thing. Not only the article. Also being able to sit without any help. Walking by myself.

After second stroke (shame on it!) I feel rather depressed and full of doubts, but it’s temporary thing, not to be expressed loudly, cause I know that I’m not in a position to complain. In general there is some hope for me. And for all of us:)

Yeah. Now I’m sending all of you (all of us?) plenty of warm thoughts for a World Stroke Day. I wish all good, strokeless life, And if stroke is already here, I wish you no repetition:) And with these words I finish this exalted text and I’m going to Spanish conversation.

Un buen dia! have a nice (world stroke) day!

loosing weight project

meet my Fat Lady – how to motivate myself to losing weight…

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gruba baba

This  money is my Fat Lady. She is a handmade money box. From salt&flour dough (does English have the name for such thing? Polish has…;) She will be painted of course, but she already eats money. She has her meal after every day in which I don’t eat sweets and I don’t touch Coke.

I’m not sure whether I’ve already told you, but I’m addicted to Coke Light. Or Coke Zero. For sweets only my mom wouldn’t give me a single penny, but for sweets and Coke…;)

Anyways. I’ve been off the coke (Light, Zero) for the first time from immemorial . It’s been 5 full days already!  Hurray (?) I miss it so much…
My mom, the Fat Lady feeder must be glad.

I miss it.

She pays.

I cry.

I had to mobilize myself to leave the leavings of unhealthy lifestyle because  I still put on weight. I’m more and more convinced it’s all about hormones. Because my fight is a fight not for loosing fat, but for not crossing a magic line of 100 kilos. And I know that it’s not about being more sinful than my friends, because being active and saint doesn’t let me lose even one gram of my body weight. Something has to be wrong. Hormones. Or I have the slowest metabolism ever and my daily demand of calories is like 700 kcal. Let’s hope it’s not that.

I haven’t accomplished any of my goals yet.

PS

I’m lying. It’s not like I’m not able to loose weight at all.

Exactly a year ago I lost 3 kilos. But I was running every day or once in two days. And I was walking like 10-17 km daily. And I was cycling. I ate well, not too many sins. Well, I’m not able to do it again. 2 km walk is a lot for me now.