Every year on 3rd of January I wake up in an extremely bad mood which doesn’t leave me until midnight. Typical birthday blues. I try to have a full agenda, but this year… I had a migraine again. Vomited in the medical laboratory, the world was more painful than usual.
However, my birthday is the perfect time to share with you successes and failures of 2017. I’m gonna use numbers.
My first hero is 2:
- 2 amazing months: July and November, when I felt well. They were full of joy, warmth and peace. Sources of their awesomeness were very different from each other but in the end, I spent two months almost without pain and depression, cherishing normal life
- For the past two months, I haven’t been rehabilitating myself and exercising. I can’t explain it. It’s about being extremely busy and extremely lazy.
- I started doing two cool things. I opened my business an started volunteering for poor people and against food waste. Shop gave my unemployed life bit of meaning, work for less fortunate made my need of helping others less meaningless.
- Two things I’m actually proud of: my Lewaczka.pl blog (this one too;p) and first money earned since the stroke.
- Two job offers. Nothing worked out of it, I have no clue why, but still: someone believed in me enough to offer me a place in his team.
- Two brilliant blog entries from a guest star:) In Polish only, sorry!;)
- Pills I’m taking daily,
- months since last birthday blues,
- months till my 30th birthday
- three new diagnoses. Lupus: most likely I’ve been living with it for the past 10-15 years, not knowing about it, carotid artery dissection – could be the cause of strokes. Lupus, dissection, hole in my heart, I have many things to choose from;)
- three hospitals I was admitted. All three admissions were planned.
- For the third time, I was guaranteed social security money. Yay. I’m kind of covered till September.
- 3 amazing trips. Denmark with a friend, Cyprus with family, Emirates for NCD Alliance conference... All of them were really great. Denmark was like completing lifelong dream, Cyprus nice time with my beloved people, Emirates: oh wow, it was my blog-wise achievement. Big one. I can’t stress enough how I enjoyed the time there.
- neurolupus, new kind of lupus thrown into my face. It’s about to be confirmed, now I imagine it as a little worm eating my brain and leaving me with depression, dementia and meaningless life,
- one participation in an event of a big importance;) well, at least for sick people,
- new, brilliant psychotherapist,
- one physiotherapist who has left me for the man. But I can’t be upset about it. I wish her best of luck with him, they deserve perfect life:)
- One pronouncement saying that I’m disabled. It’s official. It’s good. It gives me a discount for a train. Twice a year;)
- One magazine cover my face was on. I’m a cover girl;p
- One sport I started to practice. I’m lousy. But Olympic games are once every 4 years, no worries here;)
- Foreigner, I’m helping in settling here. He’s a friend and we are very happy to see his life easier from time to time.
- Epilepsy attack. unexpected. Adding two years to my auto-ban;) (do not mistake with autobahn;p I mean I’m banned from driving for 2 additional years).
- Website about spasticity I’ve consulted,
- Day of the retired people I was celebrating,
- the brother whom I love. But my love starts to be conditional. I don’t love him that much when he puts glass full of water on my back.
- kilos I’ve lost,
- of series that I completed,
- hours in bed,
- smiles and pleasant things that happened to me,
- litres of water I drunk,
- hours of not moving while I should move,
- interviews I gave. It feels like a million anyway.
- Minutes of escaping the reality.
- of good, kind people I have around and I’ve met.
- texts for my polish blog (!!!). Only…
- texts for an English version of my strokie blog. Poor result.
- of new strokes! None!
- plans for that years. Many dreams though;)
It was a weird year. Horrible in many ways, but still kept finding reasons to smile. But dear my 29. and dear 2018:
by the way… one of the first songs I learned to play on a guitar. very bad. But for now it’d be perfect. Gotta try!:)